Mirrors

I have always believed that people cross our path for a specific reason. Nothing is random. Even if we don’t understand or see it right away, eventually, when we look back, the dots connect in a very incredible way. Throughout my life, people have popped in, and some have stayed forever, but many others serve an important role for a while and then they disappear. I crave the excitement of change, but at the same time change terrifies me.

Given my deep belief in this concept, when people disappear from my life, I attribute it to having completed a lesson and it was time for both of us to part ways. I don’t miss people. I know it sounds cold. I also am terrible at keeping in touch. I feel that if there is constant communication, it’s because there needs to be. But if somehow communication starts to fade, then I let that takes its course. None of it is done on purpose, and I don’t usually blame anyone for the lack of communication, I truly believe its a natural course of the relationship and I let it be.

I am not referring solely to romantic partners. This applies to every single person that crosses my path, be it personal, work related, life related, neighbors, etc. Some people just pull at me and I know they have a purpose for me, or the other way around, maybe I need to be in their lives for some reason. I often feel the pull, and I also often feel the release when it happens. It is something that is so ingrained in me that I honestly stopped questioning it years ago. I realize most people don’t see life or people this way, and to them, I probably seem to be a cold hearted person. However, I don’t think that is it at all. I feel like the depth of what I feel is very deep and intense. But when a release needs to take place, I understand it and I let go.

Very recently though (maybe within the last 2 years) I was informed of a concept that I had never really pondered. I was told that the people that come into our lives to teach us a cosmic lesson, often do so in the form of a Mirror. They enter our lives and mirror the lesson we are supposed to learn. So, while I was partially right in my thinking, I never really saw the exact lesson, or looking back after the person left, I could see how I was a lesson for them, or they were for me. But, it never occurred to me that the lesson was a Mirror.

Turns out that if someone came into my life and had a problem with X., it was because I had a problem with X and I was supposed to see X in the other, and figure out that that was my problem and that is how I could fix it, by allowing the Mirror to make me aware of my issue. When this concept was first explained to me, I honestly thought…”No way!” and I remember telling the person “but this one person had this problem” and “this other person had this other problem” and “they, and they” …and she asked me to listen to what I was saying. I was completely aware of THEIR problems, because I kept “judging” “them”. But then this person asked me to step back and go back to the time when I was dealing with these people…was I perhaps also going through what I was accusing “them” of being? And I thought for a minute. I also pushed back my anger, because I wanted to yell at this person something along the lines of “It’s not me! They had problems! I helped THEM!” After settling down, and thinking some more…it was incredible. Mind Blown. This person was right. They were Mirroring something in me. I was oblivious.

So over the last two years, I have tried really hard to change my perspective. It is really humbling to see life in this way, mainly because the Mirrors are usually frustrated about something and will piss you off. But the madder they make you, the more of a Mirror they are to something you need to look at within you. I don’t have this concept figured out completely, and logistically I don’t know exactly how to “fix” the things I now am able to identify. But just changing my perception has been life altering. The compassion I feel now for some situations is so different.

Coming across someone suffering from a lack of self esteem used to make me feel sorry for them, or angry that they didn’t see themselves for what they are and what their full potential could be. This one bothered me to no ends. I would literally get mad at these people for not seeing themselves the way I saw them, full of potential and so capable. Well, it turns out THEY popped into my life for two reasons: 1) So I could maybe share with them the way I saw them (full of potential and fully capable). And perhaps they would see themselves that way too. BUT they also popped into MY life to point out that 2) I HAD A PROBLEM and perhaps I was NOT as full of self esteem and confidence as I thought I was.

So now I try very hard to look for the Mirror and not only help others, but turn to myself and help myself see my own flaws and find ways to better myself.

 

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