There are days when simply getting out of bed is a monumental task. Thinking and overthinking without respite used to be so debilitating. One day…or over time…I learned how to push away those thoughts, how to shut them down, stuff them away and ctrl+alt+ del them from my brain. I became so good at this. At first it was so liberating because along with this new skill, I also deleted anxiety from my life. I deleted worry from my life. It was so amazing to sleep without worry.
However, I seem to be an overachiever…and like with all other tasks, I went above and beyond. Now I think I just ctrl+alt+del everything…Anything that sits on my brain for more than a few moments, or makes me feel the least bit of anxiety, I immediately delete and completely remove from my reality. Even emails that I receive, that I should look into…if I don’t make it a point to place it on my calendar, I delete it from my reality. Even posts I have written here…I completely delete from my brain and when I log back on and look back…I re-read my own posts because I honestly have deleted them from my reality.
On the days when I cannot get out of bed…perhaps all those thoughts I have deleted are clogging up the waste basket in my brain.